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It only takes a few seconds to show someone how you feel about them......the police call it indecent exposure but whatever.
Only 273 fruit roll-ups to go until I get my full serving of fruit...
My relationship with whiskey has been on the rocks lately.
My age is very inappropriate for my behavior.
My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We`ll see about that.
The person before me got $0.57 worth of gas. My day doesn’t seem so bad now.
Some of the best decisions I`ve ever made involved me clicking cancel instead of send
I wonder how long I`d be on hold if my call wasn`t important to them.
I finally stopped caring what other people think. I hope everyone’s ok with that.
Relationships always start out as "You`re smart and funny." and end up as "You think you know everything and it`s all a joke to you!"
I need u to do me a favor... Stand in front of my car please... I need to test my brakes :)
Being clean and sober means i’ve showered and am heading to the liquor store.
My favorite beer is the 15th one.
Light beer and turkey bacon probably won`t kill you but why take the chance??
Apparently I`d rather debate in my mind whether or not to get up and pee than sleep.