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Men look at boobs for the same reason women look at puppies in a cage, we just want to set them free.
With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.
Hey! Did any of you see my........ Oh ! Never mind... :D How much of you said that before? heee heee hee!
I`m happy that my grandma thinks that a iPad is for wet and leaking eyes
I’ve already decided, if I ever go to The Price Is Right, I’m gonna “come on down” whether they call my name or not.
If you ever feel sad and blue, just remember that somewhere in the world, there`s a fat kid who just dropped his ice-cream.
I say ” I shouldn’t be telling you this,” at the beginning of every conversation so people will listen to what I’m saying.
To-Do List : Nothing[?]
I dont need to control my anger everyone around me needs to control their habit of pissing me off!
Four words that I never want to hear: There is no food.
I only hate the people in front of me while checking out at the store. Everyone behind me is cool.
If you don`t remember her name in the morning, take her to Starbucks.
If money grew on trees, Congress would actually care about the environment.
You are like that one crazy wheel on a grocery cart.
These bar stools are creaky!! [continues to fart on first date]