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I don`t ever know where I`m at till I`m there
A good husband is like a bra. He should be supportive and help support your burdens, but mostly he`s just there to touch your boobs.
I`ll be taking my time and yours,, thank you....... -- all 80 yr. old drivers
Thinking about starting a line of realistic welcome mats with things like "Please don`t stay long!" or "I hope you brought booze."
There are two types of people in the world: 1. People who understand and appreciate sarcasm. 2. Morons.
I`m getting sick of seeing all these lyric status`s, it reminds me of somebody that I used to know.
I take comfort in the fact that my neighbour will probably die before me. I`ll be at his funeral, leafblowing through the entire ceremony.
"Wow, that Hungry Man TV dinner sure lives up to its name!" said no hungry man ever.
When I said I missed you, I meant with a hammer.
Roses are Red Violets are Blue, If I had a brick, I`d throw it at you.
Sometimes I really want to throw paper at people. Brick shaped Paper. Made of brick.
Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.
I`m done with tucking in shirts. Too many people complaining I`m invading their "personal space." LOL
Isn`t it weird when a cop drives by you feel paranoid instead of protected.
For some reason I`m an extremely secretive person. Don`t ask me why