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Whenever I see a hot girl on the streets I`m like HOLY CRAP I`M OUTSIDE.
Some people say a true friend stabs you in the front. I’m gonna go ahead and say a true friend just puts the knife down.
Dear facebook, please quit asking me what`s on my mind. Eventually I`m going to get in trouble if I keep telling you.
Tarantulas make great pets because when they die, rather than grieving you`ll feel an almost overwhelming sense of relief
Remember when people had diaries & got mad when someone read them? Now they put everything online and get mad when people don`t.
Love is... saving money to buy her shoes!
At this stage of my life, "Good in Bed" means not snoring or stealing the covers.
Lets watch a reality show about nasty rednecks acting like rednecks, but get mad when one of them says something a redneck would say
I`m 84% less productive in a swivel chair.
I have my hesitations about Paradise City if the first thing you brag about is the color of the grass
Facebook - the place where you can whine and get likes for it...
Who’s that sexy beast…………..oh I clicked on my own profile again. ;)
take it easy and if it is easy take it home
I have decided to give up procrastinating for Lent ... oh, crap.
A penny for your thoughts, Five bucks if they’re naughty.