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Sometimes, I use big words I don`t always fully understand in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.
I`m pretty sure my Internet Explorer “error reports” end up the same place my letters to Santa do.
Guys are at their mathematical best when a girl says she is pregnant.
Once I`m finished with this last container of Cool Whip, I will be the proud owner of a complete set of salad bowls.
You’re the reason I wake up everyday... Just kidding I have a job!!
Home is where the bag filled with plastic bags filled with plastic bags filled with plastic bags is.
There really should be awards for getting out of bed.
“Oh boy, I can’t wait to be productive today.” – said no one ever
My wife went home to visit her mother today. Or as I refer to it. Her “bitch refresher course”.
In terms of procrastination, I`ve had a very productive day.
Gift cards are still the best way to say "I`m too lazy to think of a good gift and I think you`ll buy drugs if I give you cash."
Some people never go crazy...... What truly horrible lives they must live
You made several good points, and I understand that you are right, but the way you said it was so douchey I have to take an opposite stance.
I hope this snowstorm doesn`t impact my schedule of aimlessly wasting my day online.....
Is your family tree a cactus? Because everyone on it is a prick.