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One of the most important things in life is perserverance. Hang on...perseveren...no, perserveer...pesever… oh, never mind.....
In today`s world, the key to success is to delete your Whatsapp account!
I suspect the ancient Greeks would be horrified that we refer to `laying on a couch all weekend watching a TV series` as a "marathon"…
The only thing creepier than seeing a guy in a Speedo is seeing a guy in a Speedo staring back at you
I know money talks but I wish mine had a better vocabulary instead of just ‘Spend me’.
All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or married.
“Grandbrother” sounds much cooler than uncle.
There`s this cool trick I do where I post whatever the f*ck I want becasue this is my account, not yours.
Send prayers. Laura on Facebook didn`t realize she was out of syrup until AFTER the pancakes were made! It`s causing quite a stir...
Vodka: Taking you from a 6 to a 10 in five easy shots
If a girl picks an iron in monopoly you know she`s a keeper
you`re about as useless as a red light in grand theft auto
The secret to dancing is pretending you have a wedgie and you’re trying to get it unstuck without using you’re hands.
So apparently airport security doesn`t like it when you call shotgun before boarding a plane.
I Don`t Care If you Don`t Like Me .. Iam Not A Facebook Status :D