Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If I could be anyone else in the whole world, I would still be me so that I wouldn`t have to buy new clothes.
If running on a treadmill was the only way to recharge our phones we would be the healthiest mofos on the planet.
Hmmmm, thats odd. . . .According to this height / weight chart. . . . I`m too short.
If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.
Life would be so much better if throughout the day we encountered randomly placed Piñatas
I hate Cheetos stains on my peignoir.........
Dear Santa: I have been good for the past week or so. Lets just focus on that.
So if your invited to someone`s 4th marriage is it wrong to give them a gift certificate to a good divorce attorney?
Guys, if a girl invites you upstairs for "coffee," first make sure she has coffee, you don`t want to get up there and there`s no coffee.
Sorry, I can`t delete any of my voicemails cause then people would be able to leave me a new one
Just stopped by my old high school and updated my phone number on all the bathroom stalls.
I`m hungry, but I`m not `cook something` hungry.
Just tried to put my seatbelt on ... at my desk ... I`m pretty.
Me: I must be out of my mind. Me: You and me both.
If we`re in a situation where I am the "voice of reason," then we are in a very very bad situation.