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This cat poop tastes like I`m about to get yelled at -Dogs
Here`s an idea...You go away and I`ll stop ignoring you.
I like to keep my friends close, and my attractive friends even closer.
Tequila. For those nights you just want to pretend she`s hot.
Girls here`s how to tell if a guy wants you for sex - 1: He does
I always try to behave on Friday nights but there are usually too many other options.
Comcast is doing home security now so if your house is being robbed they will get the police there on Tuesday between the hours of 8 & 12.
Girls are funny creatures. They hate it when you ask their age but will kill you if you forget their birthday.
My life is a constant cycle of waiting until the weekend and then not doing anything when it comes.
Whoever said the camera adds 10 pounds should stop eating cameras.
Pirates that used X to mark the spot were stupid. If they had used a G, nobody would ever have found their treasure.
Legalizing same sex marriage. I thought all sex was the same after marriage.
just keep scrolling nothing to see hear
Friends don’t let friends twerk.
I have the ability to drive people crazy. I`m not sure if I was born with it or if I learned it. But damn am I great at it.