Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m not mature enough to be in a yoga class.
What happens on online stays online, forever and ever.
Last New Year my resolution was 1920x1080 , this year it`s to be less of a nerd.
Somebody asked for my name today, and when I told them they said "That`s an unusual name. You don`t hear that everyday" to which I replied "Well actually... I do"
My nickname is Gilette because I`m the best a man can get. Also, I will cut you
Me: Where can I find the milk? Her: Sir, this is a library. Me: *whispers* Sorry, where can I find the milk?
Dearest Neighbors, Please do not call the police, it`s not domestic violence or a wild party. It`s football season, that`s just me screaming at my TV.
Don`t ya wish you could hold people up to the light like a $20 bill to tell if they`re fake or real?
You`ll notice you never see sweatpants with "Classy" written across the butt.
I made this margarita with my kids` slushie machine ... Don`t judge
I want you to know that whatever problems you`re having, I`m here to read about it on Facebook
Why is powdered milk called ‘Instant milk’? Actual milk is far more instant.
Admit it, we all have that special someone we`d visit if given a tank to drive for a day
The only reason any of us can spell laboratory is because of Dexter.
If I was just learning English and you told me a sport called BOXING takes place in a SQUARE area called a RING, I`d probably give up.