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Told my kids next time I take their electronics away I`d also be responding to all texts they receive. They`ve been well behaved since.
So much to say. So not drunk enough to say it.
The ultimate act of trust is buying your spouse a gun, and then showing them the correct way to use it.
he who laughs last thinks slow
Why,does facebook want to make the likes one gets on their status like a story,like:peter and 500 others like this,click and see james and 499 others like this............
I solve all my problems by creating three new ones as distractions.
Still have my French Maid costume in case any of you have a dirty house. I`ll be happy to sit there and look sexy while your wife cleans....
Life is like a teenager`s p@nis. some are short, some are long, but it is always hard.
"There`s more than one way to skin a cat." -Chinese restaurant proverb
Anyone else find it odd that on Star Trek, when they "boldly go where no one has gone before" they always end up meeting someone?
If sex between 3 people is called a Threesome and sex between 2 people is called a Twosome... Why is Handsome still a compliment?
I’m so happy people can’t hear what I’m thinking.
I felt really mischievous earlier so I bought a McDonalds and ate it at a KFC
Wow, it`s beautiful outside. I should probably do something. Like close the blinds so there isn`t a glare on my screen.
“Until death do us part,” means we will all be single in heaven, right?