Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I may not look good naked, but I`m a beautiful person on the insi.... Hahahaha just kidding I look great naked
Im a leader not a follower... unless its a dark place then f*ck that your going first!
My gift horse is facing the wrong way
Maybe Voldemort`s face is flat because he ran into the wrong wall at the train station.
I`m home by myself this evening. My wife is out at Kohl`s buying another load of laundry.
Somewhere, right this minute, someone is reading this sentence.
I prefer to call it a β€œTa-Da” list. Cause it’d be amazing if I actually accomplished anything on it.
I`ll be posting telepathically today.. So if you think of something funny, that was me.
Most of my thoughts have been coming from a very dark place lately. That`s what happens when you forget to pay your electric bill
Nothing f*cks up your Friday like realizing that it`s only Tuesday
If owls are so smart, how come they don`t say "Whom"?
Won’t go back in my bathroom until spider is gone! Web search for β€œspider life span” reveals I will be able to shower again in 1 to 2 years.
What`s the opposite of wanting to hear about you doing crossfit? I`m that.
Idiots are fun, no wonder every village has one.
I wish karma would send me email notifications.