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Relationship status: Don`t tell me to calm down! You called a stormtrooper a robot!
I’ve been a sucker for boobies since the day I was born.
Last night my wife said to me, “What would you do without me?” Apparently, “Your sister” was the wrong answer.
The easiest way to find out if a movie is on Netflix is to simply ask yourself "do I want to see it?" If you do, it`s not on Netflix.
Dont judge a person by the color of their skin or by the content of their character but by the shape of their eyebrows
Dodgeball, but with random people who don`t know that they are playing..............
The truth is, men put the lids on jars that tight so you’d need us, we’re not that stupid.
It should be socially acceptable to end any boring conversation by shouting "UNSUBSCRIBE!"
Ahhh, the 4th of July. The day where trips to hospital start with the words "Hold my beer and watch this!"
I bet giraffes don`t even know what farts smell like.
I’m not surprised you’re having problems I had a bad experience with your reality once too.
There’s gotta be a better use for the part of my brain that remembers every word to “Baby Got Back.”
I came home one day all proud as can be with my report card and said to my Mom ,Look I got a B in reading , She said that`s a D you moron !
Netflix basically has every movie, except for the ones I actually want to watch.
Better to be incredibly weird than incredibly boring.