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therapy is expensive...vodka is not. need I say more....
A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
Some of the nicest women you`ll meet on Facebook are men.
Some of the best things in life...are mistakes.
stupidity is a privelege entitled to everyone but you my dear are abusing this right
Using a public restroom always reminds me how much better I am at flushing a toilet than a lot of other people.
I wish more events in life involved dumping a cooler full of Gatorade on people.
My grandpa has Alzheimer`s, so I just keep telling him he owes me twenty bucks.
Here’s a little bit of advice for you.. advi
You bring the friendship, I`ll bring the benefits.
Key to a Happy Life: Get a job where people ask, “You actually get paid for doing this?”
When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it’s for them?
There are two key elements to success. 1) Never tell anyone everything you know.
Never go on a blind date with a friend! She was so big when i took her home she went to my backyard and started grazing.
every woman iz beautuful n her unique way, smtimz it needs sm amount of alcohol to see with