Daily Silly Status

I believe in karma that means I can do bad things to people I don’t like and assume they deserved it.

PLEASE - put this on your status if you know someone (or are related to someone) who has been eaten by dragons. Dragons are nearly unstoppable and, in case you didn`t know, they can also breathe fire. 93% of people won`t copy and paste this, because they have already been eaten by dragons. 6% of people are sitting in the shower armed with fire extinguishers and the remaining 1% are awesome and will re-post.

New kitchen game: `Fridge and Cupboard Tetris`- Putting the possibility of being pummeled by a food avalanche on a whole new level of adventure.

I sure buy a lot of alcohol. Hope I`m not a shopaholic.

If any of you ever want your kitchen painted orange just give a six year old Cheetos for lunch and tell them not to make a mess. Works every time.

If you watch the Twilight movies backwards, Kristen Stewart still can`t act.

Facebook needs a "settle down" button.. You tap on a friend`s profile, that locks them out for a day so they can work through stuff privately..

You`ve got to love yourself. But not in public places.

I think, therefore i`m single.

Life…it’s just an “F” in lie.

My wife treats me like a God…She takes very little notice of my existence until she wants something.

I can’t tell if I’m hungry, but better eat just in case.

I`ve decided that throughout the time period starting with Thanksgiving, continuing on to Christmas and ending on New Years Day, the term `Calories" regarding all food shall be referred to as "Deliciousness Points."

My biggest problem is that I believe almost everything I tell myself.

Did we try giving the government a snickers?