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Is it hibernation time yet? Because I am 100% into that.
Spent the morning at the farmers market carefully selecting fruits and vegetables to throw away next Saturday.
I just gave my ex a big hug which can only mean one thing. That`s right I have the flu and I love sharing.
Got a problem with me? I’m pretty sure a status on Facebook won’t fix it.
I`m hosting a wine tasting event in my home. Well, it`s not really an event. It`s just me and three bottles of wine. No one else is invited.
If ignorance really was bliss we`d have a lot more really happy people around here.
Sorry I was staring at your nachos while you were talking about your painful divorce
Did you hear that? That was the sound of soccer being irrelevant in the US for another 4 years..
Heads up, peeps. There are over 700 fake Obamacare sites ready to swipe your info. Pro tip: The real site is the one that doesn`t work...
Do you realize that Scrooge was essentially water-boarded into changing his outlook on Christmas?
In terms of procrastination, I`ve had a very productive day.
They act like technology is ruining childhood, but back in the day, kids were so bored they would turn their eyelids inside out for fun.
I think instead of doing laundry I`m just going to buy a second hamper...
I wouldn`t consider myself someone that litters but I do turn on my windshield wipers while im driving down the road to get rid of that useless flyer some idiot put on my car when I quickly run into the store.
Apparently when your girlfriend says "f*ck that bitch", you`re not supposed to take her seriously.