Daily Silly Status

Dear children, when you look under your bed, what exactly are you planning to do when you find me? Sincerely, The Monster.

Any girl is a stripper if you wait outside her window long enough

Sometimes, I like to stalk random strangers vacation pic`s, and tag myself as one of the people in the background just for laughs.

North West? Im confused i thought Kim Kardashian gave birth to a child not a compass

My 2017 resolution is to stop thinking so much about the future.

I really thought 2015 had potential to be “my year” but we’re 2 months in and that ship has sailed so I’ll try again for 2016.

If you didn`t want to be hit with a shovel then you never should have started telling me about your problems.

Why Am I Sober? - A Horror Story

The wifi going down on me is the most action I`m going to get tonight.

Remember before the internet when all the people at the video store knew you watched porn alone on Saturday mornings

Walking out of a store after not buying anything and thinking, "try not to act like a criminal, try not to act like a criminal."

I always find the "easy-open tab" right after I finally manage to tear the package open with my teeth.

Copy this and paste it in your status if you know someone, or have heard of someone who knows someone.. If you don´t know anyone, or even if you´ve heard of someone who doesn´t know anyone, then do still copy this. It´s important to spread the message. Oh and the hearts ? ? ? ? For crap´s sake, don´t forget the hearts! ? ? ? ?

everyone has that one crazy person in there family...but in my case everyone is just as crazy as i am!XD

I’m looking up in the sky and I have no idea which cloud has all my data