Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Shout out to the new couples still holding in farts..
Marry someone shorter than you so you can hide all the good snacks on the top shelf.
I would like to wish all of the groundhogs a very safe and happy Groundhogs Day.
Have you ever looked at your ex and wondered...WAS I drunk the whole time?
I`m sticking to my guns ... I really should have washed my hands after I ate.
I didn`t want to grow up; I just wanted to be able to reach the cookies.
Perverts can contribute to society. Look at the disturbed individual who discovered cow`s milk.
That awkward moment when you gently toss your phone on the bed and it bounces off 3 walls, breaks 2 lamps and kills a cat...
is a mystery you´ll never solve
anyone celebrating anything today? Anything at all... doesn`t matter what. I just need something to drink to.
I`ll make better mistakes tomorrow.
Going to Walmart with my mom and kids is a great way to test if the Xanax is working!
Why is it called a menstrual calendar and not a flow chart?
I have company coming, does a spork go on the right or left side?
I didn`t see anyone important today, so I`ll probably wear these same clothes tomorrow.