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I`ve spent my whole life trying to find a girl with a psychiatric disorder that makes her think she`s a woodpecker.
If I had a dollar for every girl that told me I was unattractive, they’d eventually find me attractive.
Wow! it`s late.. I need to hit the sack........ Then go to bed.
There’s a very short list of things you can have in your hand while running without looking crazy.
If you were born in September, it`s pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a BANG
I hate when I walk into the kitchen for food and only find ingredients.
Stupid people who suddenly make a smart decision have no idea how confusing that is for the rest of us.
You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
When someone says "everything happens for a reason" I`d like to smack them and say "yeah, I guess you`re right"
It`s scientifically proven that stress is caused by giving a f*ck.
Life really is all down-hill once you get to big too ride in the shopping cart anymore isnt it??
I hate spelling errors so much. You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined....
I like to Party! ... and by Party I mean take Naps
I like to finish other people’s sentences because my version is better.
I scream. You scream. The police come ... It`s awkward ;)