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Whenever I’m bored I stop a stranger and ask “where am I?” and whatever they say I runaway screaming “Hahaha I’m a genius! I can teleport!”
I love long legs.... Long sexy legs..... But not on a Spider, I hate long sexy legs on a Spider.
I wonder how seaworld would react if I walked in there with a fishing pole....
How do you get to be that guy who waves the chopsticks at the the orchestra? I feel like I could do that.
That weird feeling when you wake up from a nap & you don`t whether it`s am or pm or what day, month, or year it is.
One does not simply log out of their friend`s facebook account without making them gay.
Time is precious ... waste it wisely!
Amnesia sounds so relaxing.
What idiot called it a contraction and not a birthquake?
My kids will be mad at me when they discover it isn’t illegal to talk in the car while I’m driving.
Have you ever wondered about the look on someone`s face if you hide under their bed and grab their foot in the middle of the night? Just something to think about.....goodnight!
was going to argue with you...but then I remembered I really didn`t care
I`m the type of person who goes out to a restaurant and orders a veggie burger with cheese and bacon on it.
I just slammed hard on the brakes and found 3 lighters, $4.67 in change, condom box, empty flask, half an 1/8th, and a puppy.
A great thing about being single is never having to erase your history tab.