Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I hope someone I hate hears their first Christmas song this year in October.
That awkward moment when you make a Harry Potter reference and none of your Muggle friends get it.
Practice safe text – use commas and never miss a period.
if its got tits you will get nothing but trouble !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Someone asked me how much love was worth and I couldn’t answer because alimony is calculated differently in each state.
Think of a number between 0 and 20. Add 40 to it. Multiply by 2. Subtract 3. Now close your eyes.... It`s dark isn`t it.
I just bought all six seasons of Hoarders on DVD
Most of my thoughts have been coming from a very dark place lately. That`s what happens when you forget to pay your electric bill
I finally got some medication for my Attention Deficit Disorder. Now if I could just remember the name of it and where I left it at.
More funny statuses will be posted here soon
Over 400 billion people a year are victims of exaggerated statistics.
So Apple is gonna buy Beats by Dr. Dre... I guess "an apple a day keeps the doctor away" doesn`t apply to technology?
Sarcasm is a dominant gene in my family.
Alcohol may not be able to give you a loving hug when you need it but the Liquor Mart employee`s you`re buying it off of sure can.
Besides being curled up on the bathroom floor convinced I was dying from liver failure for a few hours, last night was fun.