Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I know it’s 3 meals a day, but how many should I eat at night?
Spilling a full beer you paid for is the adult equivalent of letting go of a balloon.
Don`t blame me. You`re the one following a 41 year old man who just jumped into his bed like an Olympic athlete because scary monsters.
I hate girls who insert the phrase "my boyfriend" into every conversation. So does my boyfriend.
Sometimes it’s the little victories, like depositing a dollar to avoid overdraw fees that make me feel like a responsible adult.
"If you can`t handle me at my worst, then you don`t deserve me at my best" literally translates to "I`m a loud, sloppy drunk."
"I have to go eat cake now", should be a perfectly valid reason for leaving a social occasion where cake has not been provided.
If you play any Taylor Swift song backwards you`ll hear messages from the devil, however even worse........... if you play it forwards, you`ll hear Taylor Swift
I`d watch NASCAR if Hot Wheels designed the tracks.
On the 12th day of Christmas my FB gave to me- 12 dudes I`m blocking, 11 friends just watching, 10 corny topics, 9 busted Barbies, 8 friends complaining, 7 stalkers stalking, 6 party invites, fiiiivvvvee drama queeeennss, 4 game requests, 3 photo tags, 2 friends a-pokin and a creep who wont stop Inboxing meee... ;)
Seth Rogen and James Franco having their movie pulled due to terrorist threats sounds like the plot of a Seth Rogen and James Franco movie.
I`ve been eating a lot of extra calories since daylight savings to make up for that hour of eating I missed.
The best way to change a woman`s mind is to agree with her.
So Apple is gonna buy Beats by Dr. Dre... I guess "an apple a day keeps the doctor away" doesn`t apply to technology?
Last night I got so drunk I blacked out for two hours, but then I realized I’d just put my hoodie on backwards