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Well, one week smoke free, only 4 dead, 27 injured… not bad…
Tequila... cuz the bed isn`t goin to spin itself!
Never seen anyone jogging and smiling, so that’s all I need to know about that.
I want the job where you push scared skydivers out of planes.
I have Beer.
I wonder who the first person was to look at a beehive and think, "those bastards are hiding something delicious in there, I know it!"
My number one rule to live by is: Don’t die.
Nothing is more discouraging that unappreciated sarcasm.
It`s hard to take life serious once you realize people jamming their genitals in each others mouths is considered a sign of affection.
I broke my finger today. But on the other hand I`m fine.
To a musician, a g-string means something completely different than it does to me. .
Every so often you come across a person that supplies you with endless motivation, even if it is just to jump into traffic.
When I was younger my dad showed me pictures of why to wear condoms during sex. The funny thing is, they were all pictures of me.
Million Dollar Idea: A restaurant that offers Coke and Pepsi....
I`m going to become a hermit as soon as I find a cave with a decent wifi connection.