Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I’m not drunk, I’m just exhausted from drinking all night.
I just shaved my legs. I think I lost three pounds.
When I’m getting off a crowded elevator I like to turn & look at someone who’s staying on and say,, “You’re in charge while I’m gone.”
Some of the best things in life...are mistakes.
Mad respect to people who can stop eating when they`re full.
I either get what I want or I change my mind!
I wish I had a dollar for every dollar I don`t have.
Sorry for nicking your car w/my door, but you didn`t leave much room. It`s small, but I circled it with my key so you could find it.
How do you people have the time to hate a stranger on the internet?
So you constantly feel sorry for yourself and feel the need to tell everyone all about it. I can’t imagine why he left you.
My kids are the reason I wake up every morning. Really freaking early. Every...Single...Morning...
I got kicked out of the zoo for feeding the ducks ... to the alligators.
There`s no rehab for stupid! ;P
Sometimes I wake up grumpy but sometimes I let her sleep instead..
Girls just wanna have funds.