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Did anyone hear the one about the cross dresser? The happiest day in his life was when he finally got into his girlfriend`s pants.
Just think: right now, your body is cookin` up some poop.
Why do cops ask us why we think they pulled us over? It`s their job. I dont go to the station and ask why they think I created a powerpoint.
During the first two weeks of January, people often resolve to lose weight, which is great for me because the line at Golden Corral is much shorter.
The real reason the Mayan civilization collapsed is they never updated their Adobe.
So I was thinking... We should get drunk and make bad decisions.
I pretend to like people everyday. It`s called being an adult. That`s why we`re allowed to buy booze.
Life..it`s just an `F` in lie....
My favorite drinking game is drinking.
B!tch, I will slap you by accident on purpose.
Clearly, you are a person with an open mind. I can feel the breeze from here.
My friend offered me a free pole dance class. I said no. With my debt, the last thing I need to find out is that I`m great at pole dancing.
My browser asks "are you sure?" when I clear my history as if theres anyone more sure of what theyre doing than someone clearing his history
Do Me: a favor. - Punctuation is important.
Be safety conscious. 80% of people are caused by accidents.