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It`s nice to know I`m wanted....even if it`s only by the Police!
I like the part of the day when food happens.
Even this posting will offend some people, hopefully.
F*ck It - My final thought before making decisions.
Ask me about my ability to annoy complete strangers.
Me: GUESS WHO BOUGHT A MEGAPHONE!? Neighbor: Get out of my house! Me: You`re not even guessing.
"Crazy" is just another name for "Someone who knows how to have fun"
I´m not cheap, but I am on special this weekend. ;)
Sometimes, I don`t know how I`m going to get through the day. Then I remember: I have beers waiting for me at home. I can do this for them
Hey ladies! Great news! Those low riding, butt crack, hip hugger jeans are coming back in style!
My ex said he would die for me. All I`m saying is, it was his suggestion.
It is impossible to look cool while holding onto a leash attached to a dog who is taking a crap.
You know, rumor has it that the Mona Lisa may have been the first selfie.
Why get married? Just pick a girl you hate and buy her a house.
Smelling another person should be a choice.