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Who says nothing is impossible. I´ve been doing nothing for years.
You`d think my neighbors could have the decency to ignore me back.
You`ve really got to hand it to short people, because sometimes they often can`t reach it.
The key to any successful marriage is separate TVs.
As a child, my mom told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, this is called "Identity Theft".
I was bored of doing the same thing day in and day out,so I phoned the "Local Ramblers Club"....but the guy on the other end of the phone just went on and on and on!
Sorry I liked your status, I was cleaning my phone.
If my psychiatrist said "There`s really nothing more I can do for you", that means I`m cured right??
How come there are never any restrooms in my dreams
I super glue one jar of pickles shut and leave it out at the barbecue then watch the humiliation unfold.
I don`t have any skeletons in my closet because I bury my victims in the backyard!
48 states observe daylight savings time. The other two clock block.
Common Sense is so rare, it should be classified as a super power.
just spilled alphabet soup on my keyboard. I`m so confused
Jogging with a stroller is great exercise! And hard work for whoever is pushing me.