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It`s been a boring day today. Not exactly Nascar boring, but awfully close.
Working from home means I save money on train tickets and pants, but spend more on vodka and pizza.
Everything in earthquake-prone areas should be built on top of a giant Tempurpedic mattress.
Social Media Awkwardness: When people "like" a relationship status of being single by your ex instead of yours.
Australian kiss. It`s kind of like a French kiss, but down under.
Life..it`s just an `F` in lie....
It`s not often you see a pink poo in your bowl & realize that not everything is edible from the sex shop
If you think buying condoms is awkward, try returning them...
Well h€ll, I was going to post a status about my p€cker, but it was too long.
Do homeless people get Knock Knock Jokes?
if it has tits or tires sooner or later it will give you problems.
Shot my first turkey today...scared the crap out of everyone in the frozen food section. It was awesome!
I dont hate you but, if you put `just about to jump off a cliff` as your facebook statuses i would poke you
There is a 99.9% chance I am hungry.
I recently added squats to my workouts by moving the beer into the bottom shelf of the fridge.