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The guy that thought of wrapping other food items in bacon deserves an award.
I worry about what my rubber ducky thinks about me when I`m naked 0.0
I wish I had a friend like me
You drink too much, swear too much and your morals are questionable. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted in a friend.
I retired from being my brothers keeper when I realised that I was letting in goals that wouldn`t have scored if his post was empty
So many feelings today. Mostly hunger.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tire.
I generally don`t hang out with people who are missing digits on their feet. It`s not that I`m a jerk. I`m just lack-toes intolerant.
Shout out to good looking women who date unattractive men who aren`t rich, thanks for keeping hope alive.
Getting stuff out of my refrigerator is like playing Jenga.
Old video games couldn`t be won. They just got harder and harder until you died. Just like real life.
The difference between me & normal people is the normal
A third zebra strolls casually while whistling and pretending to read a newspaper onto Noah`s ark.
Doing donuts in the parking lot sounds fun. Eating donuts in the parking lot sounds better.
Instead of LOL, try SALTS ( smiled a little, then stopped)