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I called one of those numbers in the bathroom stall and my wife answered. Very funny guys.
I drink to make other people interesting
I wish some people`s cardio exercise consisted of running into traffic.
If Wonder Woman and Spiderman went into business together would they call it Amazon Web Services?
I bet if the movie "mirrors" releases part 3, the 1st victim will die while trying to take a selfie
My personality is 30% the last movie I watched.
Exercise makes you look better naked. Alcohol does the same, you pick..
What age is the best to break it to my kids, that they`re NOT adopted?
On the 12th day of Christmas my FB gave to me- 12 dudes I`m blocking, 11 friends just watching, 10 corny topics, 9 busted Barbies, 8 friends complaining, 7 stalkers stalking, 6 party invites, fiiiivvvvee drama queeeennss, 4 game requests, 3 photo tags, 2 friends a-pokin and a creep who wont stop Inboxing meee... ;)
Drinking coffee is a fun way to become dependent on paying money to wake up.
Fashion is what you call hideous clothes that are really expensive
Good for you, people that do things.
Don`t just be one of those people who stares at their phone or computer twelve hours a day. It`s important to also watch some TV.
I`m switching to Metric. I would weigh a lot less on the Metric scale.
I felt sorry for the hypnotist I saw last night…he hypnotized 7 guys…then dropped the mic on his foot and yelled F*CK ME ... what happened next will haunt me for the rest of my life