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Is it hibernation time yet? Because I am 100% into that.
If you are being attacked by a bunch of clowns the first thing to do is go for the juggler.
Peyton Manning saw his shadow this morning...that means six more weeks of bad Papa Johns commercials.
As I said before, I never repeat myself.
A friend of mine asked what it`s like to raise a small toddler so I coughed directly in his mouth
You gotta hand it to blind prostitutes.
Hell hath no fury like me when I’m slightly inconvenienced and hungry.
Childhood is like being drunk. Everyone remembers what you did, except you.
Sometimes it takes me 8 hours to get nothing done.
Hey chicks that only post inspirational shit: we know you’re nuts.
"I`ll let you know" = I need more time to come up with an excuse
If every porkshop was perfect, we wouldn`t have hot dogs.
is not impatient. I just patient really fast.
Rick Ross be rapping about cars he can`t even fit in.
If you tell people you used to weigh 500 pounds they`ll tell you how great you look at 250.