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I don`t know which is worse... waiting for someone to get out of the bathroom so you can use it or hearing them say "come in" when you knock on the bathroom door...
FINALLY home from work! So, yea...if your phone number is on your profile...I will be drunk dialing you in about 30 minutes or so.
I`m now at the age where if I see a nice nursing home, I make a mental note of it.
The best part about having an old VW is driving down the road and watching people punch the sh!t out of each other.
I am, have to avoid the leg cramps during sex, years old.
I would die if I had to stop exaggerating.
Friendships must be built on a solid foundation of alcohol, sarcasm, inappropriateness, and shenanigans.
After much thought and careful consideration, I`ve decided not to do a damn thing today.
My therapist says I should quit talking to myself.
I`m done with tucking in shirts. Too many people complaining I`m invading their "personal space." LOL
So far my only real accomplishment in life has been not having kids.
My therapist says I`m a clueless, un-observant trainwreck. Which is weird because up until this moment, I never even knew he was a therapist.
I like to stop the microwave with 1 second to go. Makes me feel like a bomb defusal expert.
I`m the type of person that will burst out laughing in dead silence over something that happened days ago.
If you want to talk to me on the phone, I need at least three days notice.