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Ziploc`s idea of how big a sandwich should be is very different than mine.
Someday we’ll look back on all this and pretend not to remember it.
How do I disable the autocorrect function on my wife?
If one goes to online college, do they have to haze them self?
I hate it when a dog starts barking and then every other dog nearby retweets him.
What if dreams are just glimpses of alternate universes?
Never underestimate a girl’s ability to find things out.
My dog is a typical guy, I talk to him and he’s all wagging his tail, but I know he’s not listening. I get it ladies.
I got kicked out of my Community Theater group when the director asked to see me Limp. How was I to know he was talking about walking?
You are living proof that the Lord is testing me.
bitches want what they cant have..or thats what I keep telling myself
I think I have 10 inches of Global Warming on my driveway.
This is not meant for you. Look away. STOP LOOKING AT IT! :)
Men use love to get sex. Women use sex to get love. I use coupons to get pizza.
I didn`t come here to make friends. I go to the cat shelter for that.