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My tacos arrived with a fork on the plate. I can only guess it`s there to stab potential taco thieves.
Do you know what would really be fun? ... No really.. If you know, tell me.. I`m bored to death.
My Therapist told me not to drink while I`m on my Meds but little does she know...I`ve been off my Meds for almost a week now!
Not all girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice. I`m made of sarcasm, wine and everything fine.
I enjoy long walks away from responsibility.
Found a baby snake in my backyard while mowing. Long story short, I don`t have to mow anymore since my yard is on fire.
Don`t waste my timeline.
Just convinced my Mom she won`t get Wolf of Wall Street if she doesn`t see Teen Wolf first.
This day is going downhill faster than a wagon full of fat kids!
Swiss army knives are only like 8% knife.
Exercise by running up the street knocking on all the doors. - Jehovah`s Fitness.
Do you think regular dogs see police dogs and think, “Oh crap! It’s the cops!”?
Cubs fans, you need to wait 107 more years. But don`t worry, 2124 will be here before you know it!
I started drinking a little early. Yesterday, to be more precise.
Whoever said "money doesn`t grow on trees" has obviously never sold weed.