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A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
You`re uglier than..... well, you`re the example.
If aliens ever attack, I hope they do it in rows of 8, going right and left directly above me. I`m very skilled at shooting aliens this way
You know those orange cones they put on the highway for you to knock down? I just beat my high score last night!
The IRS suggests filing early to reduce the chance that someone will steal your identity and file before you. Honestly, if somebody wants my identity so badly they`ll file my tax return for me, go crazy. You can mow my lawn while you`re at it, too.
I always see more people walking into Sam`s Club than out of Sam`s Club, but the meat`s cheap, so I don`t ask questions.
Found out today your supposed to urinate on a jellyfish sting, not a jelly stain. Sorry lady at waffle house....just trying to help.
Sometimes Late at night. I rearrange traffic signs. People need to be challenged.
I hate when I forget my sunglasses and get caught staring at a woman`s boobs for 20 minutes.
Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I`m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
I am convinced that Kellogg`s works for our Government and all that Snap, Crackle, Pop is CODE.......
When I wake up at night, I reach out to you, I love you not for what you look like, I love you for what you have inside - Me to my fridge
Cats don`t come with instructions, so how is anyone supposed to know you can`t put them in the washing machine.
Tried to text "playa" but it changed it to "player" I must have the white iPhone.
I asked him about his weekend, but apparently what happens in vagueness, stays in vagueness.