Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I’m the kind of guy who dreams about naps while I’m asleep.
If I go missing this holiday season and there’s a big search party out looking for me, you can save time by not looking at the gym.
TV needs to stop putting up those stupid “viewer discretion” warnings. My mom is sick of me calling her for clearance.
As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I remind myself that you cant always trust Google maps
Don`t care what your religious or political beliefs are, if you`re male or female, young or old. I will tackle you hard for that last donut.
I wish more people would give me the silent treatment.
I think Facebook is the Malaysian plane of the internet. No one on here has been seen by their family in weeks.
I was planning to do something today, but I haven’t finished doing nothing from yesterday.
I am finally old enough to realize my father was right, but now my kids think I am wrong.
Don`t get excited girls. That bulge in my pants is just emergency Oreos.
I have said it before. I will at it again. If anyone is into wife swapping. I will take a dirtbike or a puppy. Hit me up.
I can’t tell if I’m hungry, but better eat just in case.
Have you noticed that the "lol" symbol looks like a drowning guy? i bet hes not laughing out loud
Trivia - It turns out that Alexander the Great was not all that great. But in those days, nobody had the guts to call him Alexander the SO-SO
Remember, life isn`t about accumulating stuff. It`s about making people insanely jealous of your stuff.