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"Love is all we need."-Said a wise man 40 years ago. He obviously has never had a computer
If I was rich, I`d do nothing all day from a much nicer couch
The best thing about telepathy is…I know, right?
For all those girls that say `all guys are the same` ... Who told you to try them all? Hoe.
To trick people into thinking I understand things at a museum I stand in front of every painting and silently count to twenty.
A penny for your thoughts. Five bucks if they`re dirty.
Do you ever watch a movie and realize you have to watch it again because you were on your phone the whole time?
I hate it when I don`t forward a chain letter and I die the next day.
is not impatient. I just patient really fast.
I may be delusional but at least I`m going to Mars in November.
I got 99 problems but a least my name aint North West.
When things get to stressful I hit the jim.......... Beam.
According to Debrah in HR, "Back up off my balls" is not the proper way to tell someone to wait for assistance.
My neighbors complained that I never mow my lawn. So I started mowing. The cops showed up at 3 a.m.. These neighbors are never happy...
"You`re going to love my friend. He`s hilarious." is still the best way to know you`re about to meet an annoying person.