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HA! If you think I`M crazy you should meet ME!
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
You`d think my neighbors could have the decency to ignore me back.
You`ve got to be twins. You`re too stupid to be one person.
Tyler on Facebook says he ran 1.7 miles this morning… So based on calculations, I have 35 minutes to ransack his house tomorrow morning.
The only thing worse than "the one that got away" is the one that won`t go away.
One of the benefits of eating healthier is that you never have to ask questions like, “Who ate my kale?”
The most difficult part about taking a personality test is deciding which personality should take it.
Why do guys cheat on pretty girls with ugly ones...?
Started working on my taxes today and learned why the form is called 1040. For every $50 I make, I get $10 and the gov`t gets $40...
It`s hard to look like a bad-ass when you`re slurping on a strawberry smoothie.
When my kid grows up they`re not aloud to date until they`re married.
I don’t think I get enough credit for doing everything I do while being unmedicated.
For an "adult" bookstore, this place has a LOT of picture books
Figuring out that you`ll probably never figure it out is the first step of really figuring things out.