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Everyone around me keeps telling me I`m mean ... Which is absurd ... Plus, they`re ugly.
my ex girlfriends started they`re own website they call it two faced book...
Pinatas are a great way to teach children that if you repeatedly beat something with a stick, eventually you’ll get what you want.
Why do cops ask us why we think they pulled us over? It`s their job. I dont go to the station and ask why they think I created a powerpoint.
Those who stir the sh*t-pot should be made to lick the spoon!
No Girlfriend November was a success, now for Don`t Date December, Just Me January, Forever Alone February, No Match March..... I got this.
Facebook is like a fridge. When you`re bored you keep opening and closing it every few minutes to see if there`s anything good in it
I only eat the entire pint of ice cream in one sitting so that I won`t be tempted to eat it later.
You know you’re working class when your TV is bigger than your book case.
I only call them yoga pants because Netflix and eat leftovers pants was too long.
The ski racks on my car say I’m fun, adventurous, and can’t figure out how to take the ski racks off my car.
For those of you who know nothing about pleasing a woman... the G spot is located at the end of the word "shopping".....js
Today`s Horoscope: You`re gullible
roes are red violets are blue he`s for me not for you if for any chance you`ll take my place i`ll use my fist and smash your face
I was thinking about jumping on the Patriot`s Fan bandwagon, but I am afraid that the tires would be deflated...