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Good thing girls started uploading pictures next to a pool with the caption "Summer is finally here!" or we wouldn`t have known it`s summer.
I love my toilet. We`ve been through alot of sh!t together.
I was asked what I look for in a relationship. Apparently, "A way out" wasn`t the right answer.
What`s it called when it`s 9:20am and you can`t wait for dinner? Oh, it`s called fat. Nevermind.
Babysitting is a way for teenagers to feel like adults while adults go out to feel like teenagers.
I wish I drove a Volkswagen bug. It would be cool to know that every time I drove by a school bus, some kid was getting punched.
My hair looks amazing today. I hope I see everybody I hate.
Somehow I`m not nearly as overjoyed with this vegetable slicer as the woman on the infomercial was.
When someone looks over my shoulder while I`m on the computer, I open up a new tab and start searching, "HOW TO KILL THE PERSON BEHIND ME."
props to the parent at the mall that walked up afterward to ask santa what his kid wanted lol
I might wake up early and go running but I also might win the lottery the odds are about the same
Never make the same mistake twice, There are so many new ones, Try a different one each day.
You think having periods is hard? ... Try being on a 24 hour killstreak on Call of Duty with itchy balls.
Life`s short ... Drink fast
We got an extra day this year. Why did it have to be a Monday?