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So what was the best thing before sliced bread?
I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.
It only takes a second to show someone how you really feel about them... the cops call it indecent exposure, but whatever
Been waiting at the pub for my wife to pick me up for hours now. How long does it take to have a baby, for Christs sake.
Gym Update: Not there.
Friends are like snowflakes.... if you pee on them they disappear.
Gonna start a new job tomorow at a archaelogical site, I know I`m gonna dig it.
If your pillow fort hasn’t got an armory filled with Nerf guns, then you’re not really taking pillow forting as seriously as you should be.
My kids are the reason I wake up every morning. Really freaking early. Every...Single...Morning...
I don`t post a lot of personal statuses - but when I do it`s all about you ..
Listening to the voices in my head, I’ve concluded that they’re having more fun than me.
Why is it so hard to find an exercise bike with a nice little basket where I can put my nachos?
Secret Web Cam Test: Please nod your head yes if you can read this.
In "I am Legend" Will Smith lives alone for years. But then 24hrs after a woman shows up, he dies.....AND she stole his bacon
I just don`t get life insurance. Why would I want to give my family a financial incentive to kill me?