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I wonder what “don’t touch” is in Braille....
Based on the sound of her walking.. My upstairs neighbor seems like the kind of woman that starts sentences with; "Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum.".. O_o
“One man’s trash is another man’s treasure” would be a terrible way to let your child know that they’re adopted.
I never got the expression "complete idiot". Is there an Incomplete version?
I bet Batman`s cape gets stuck in the car door more times than he admits.
I have this talent of getting tired without doing nothing.
Anybody have plans to stare at their phone somewhere exciting this weekend?
20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs. Please dont let Kevin Bacon die!
Nobody wished me a happy birthday today, which isn´t surprising really, since it isn´t my birthday.
I used to think paramedics were ghost doctors.
I`m sorry. . . I didn`t mean to stare. . . it`s just that I have never seen stupid of this magnitude up close before
Cologne - because people shouldn`t have a choice whether or not they want to smell you.
When people introduce themselves to me for the first time, I tell them, "Yes, we`ve met before." So they feel awkward trying to remember me
You know you’re getting old when you have to have a drink to motivate you to go out & have a drink.
Hand sanitizer: the cut finder.