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"Don`t try this at home" encourages people to try it at another`s home instead.
There aren’t enough days in the weekend.
Why does the need to pee intensify by million when you are trying to unlock the door to your house.
I want a doorbell that makes the sound of someone knocking on the door.
My panic room is a walk-in beer cooler at the liquor store.
"I don`t know why people dislike jury duty. I think being able to play god with others` lives sounds fun!" - How I got out of jury duty
Currently in the planning stages for a hangover.
Got this super hard game on my phone called Bank Of America. You only get a power up every 2 weeks? Need cheat codes
People really need to get with the times. Smartphones are not for talking anymore.
Stop calling them rednecks. The term is NASCAR-Americans. Y`all.
Gee I wish I could push the envelope... But it`s stationary.
I love the gym this time of year. The newbies make me look like a Victoria Secret model.
Being fabulous all day makes me really, really tired.
The weather is so nice. I think I’ll go outside and watch other people run.
I wonder what my future wife is doing right now ... Hopefully modeling.