Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you figure me out I want an explanation.
That awkward moment when you have 10+ tabs open and you can`t figure out which one the music is coming from. FML
I may not be the smartest guy in the world, or the richest guy in the world, or the best-looking guy in the world, but,....Oh,hell. Now I`m depressed.
Four out of five voices in my head are saying this is gonna´ be a great day.
When I drink alcohol.. everyone says I`m an alcoholic. But.. When I drink Fanta.. no one says I`m fantastic.
If life is unfair to everyone, doesn’t that make life fair?
As I slid my finger slowly down her G string, I thought to myself "this is a nice guitar"
I went outside once. The graphics were amazing but the gameplay and storyline were TERRIBLE.
It`s amazing how much us guys complain about women and then fully trust them with our pen!ses in their mouth.
I Like this quote. I dislike this quote. I am so clever that sometimes I don´t understand a single word of what I am saying.
u cant spell awesome without me
OK look, if I meet you for a date and you don`t look anything like your pic, then you`re buying drinks for me until you do.
If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
If money grew on trees, Congress would actually care about the environment.
10 times out of 9, you’ll find me exaggerating about something