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School taught me a lot of stuff, but the most useful was how to get ready in 15 minutes
I stick pins and needles in the people I don`t like because can`t afford voodoo dolls.
I wash once and dry 3-4 times, depending on how much I want to delay folding my clothes.
Success sleeps with u in private. Failure insults u in public ! Aa
if your happy and you know it ---thank your ex
After much thought and careful consideration, I`ve decided not to do a damn thing today.
I guarantee there`s a pregnant teenager somewhere who thinks `Ebola` would be a lovely name for their child.
Girlfriend: You`re acting like a little kid. Me: What do mean, little kids can`t drink.
"My name will live forever!" - Anonymous.
Why do people have to get ready for bed? I’m always ready for bed
It’s funny how 1 text, 1 song, 1 mistake, 1 lie, 1 truth, and 1 person could change your mood in 1 second.
My parents never asked me to run away from home, but there were many unexplained one way tickets.
Apparently I misunderstood it when I was told to "expose yourself to other cultures."
My mother is my travel agent for guilt trips.
I could actually watch golf on TV if Land Mines were involved.