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I don`t get along with Hipster kids. Not a fan of the smell of thrift stores.
Of course size matters. No one wants a small pizza
I really wish Walmart had a 10 teeth or more line...
is in no shape to exercise
Facebook is my serious account, the funny one is my bank account.
What’s a drunken pirates worst nightmare? A sunken booty with no chest.
I really like my new electric toothbrush, even though sometimes, I still break out the acoustic.
My swear jar has more money in it than my bank account.
If the people in horror movies would just listen to me, they would still be alive!
I went to Jared for my girlfriend`s Christmas gift. I`m sure she will love her Subway gift card.
My favorite holiday spirit is poured over ice.
My decision making skills closely resemble that of a squirrel crossing the street.
The correct term for gluten-free, sugarless, vegan brownies is "compost."
Improve your day by ordering coffee in the voice you use for your pets.
How can they have a Facebook group called Facebookers Anonymous? That`s like trying to hold a successful AA meeting in a bar.