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**TORNADO WARNING** Everyone head to Giants Stadium. Safest place to avoid a touch down.
Highway to Hell is a great song because you can play it at both your wedding and your funeral.
I wish we had staff meetings in the garden. The plants would`ve love the fertilizer.
The fox says you need to stop.
We`re all here because we`re not all there...
Hey, if it doesn`t work out, we can still be friends. Said no guy ever
This job fair sucks... They don`t have one F*cking ride...
"Sleeping on the couch" should be a relationship status on Facebook.
75% of my day consists of looking at the clock and not believing it
Well, it`s almost the end of the year. No point in trying to become a good person this late in the game.
Whenever i see a facebook page Celebrate; "We have reached 200K fans". I just ask myself, do they know how many of those 200K died or left facebook or can`t remember their password after they liked the page?
Never take advice from people on the Internet. Not even this.
That one day of fame on Facebook because it`s your birthday.
I`ll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.!!
I think the lady at the movies is "shushing" me, but I can`t tell because I`m eating Doritos.