Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I know it’s 3 meals a day, but how many should I eat at night?
It doesn`t matter whether the glass is half empty or half full. There`s clearly room for more Alcohol
Thanks to this huge spider web I just walked into, we can now add the neighbors to the list of people that have seen me naked.
I wish I could use Shazam to identify people when I cant remember their name.
One day, I`m gonna wait for the Wal-Mart greeter to go on a bathroom break, step in their place, and begin welcoming everyone to K-mart.
Remember, pretty much all of the “tough guys” you see on TV and movies were theater majors in college.
As soon as I figure out who drank my 2 cases of beer, I`m gonna try to figure out why I`m so drunk.
Trust me ...... I can`t believe I`m still here either.
Time to train for my favorite winter sport. Extreme Hibernation.
Half the time spent on Facebook is likely spent by creeping people and /or staring at the screen waiting for something interesting to happen.
That amazing moment when you post a comment on Facebook and everyone likes it.
I was hooked on auctions after only going once... going twice
who`s smart idea wus it to name a monkey Donkey Kong??
I just called my boss and told him I have explosive diarrhea. It’s my day off, but I like to keep him informed.
Buying your wife a gun is like saying. "You know, I kinda want to kill myself, but I want it to be a surprise."