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Bathroom hand dryers are amazing if you want to kill a few minutes before wiping your hands on your pants.
Do you ever just get a random burst of motivation to clean your house, write a novel, paint a masterpiece or read a book ... Yeah, me neither.
When I go running, I usually meet new people..... like paramedics.
I forgot to pay my bill to the exorcist and so I got re-possesed.
Iām tired of things costing money.
OMG! I just discovered that if I align them JUST right, that I can make your boobs stand straight up (just like the broom trick)! Message me for an appointment! ;)
I hate when you offer someone a sincere complement on their mustache...and then she won`t talk to you anymore.
there`s only 2 things in life you have control in changing that is your attitude and a kids diaper.. which at times both can be the equivalent of the other..
I hate it when my kid starts crying in the middle of the night and I have to get up to close the bedroom door.
I grew up living paycheck to paycheck. But through hard work and perseverance, I now live direct deposit to direct deposit.
I should come with a warning label.
Advertising taught me that hair conditioner makes you move in slow motion.
Come on Facebook friends. Be honest with me. Does my butt make my pants look fat?
I wish I could understand what women with big boobs are saying.
Going to the skate park to watch people fall.