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From this point on, all postings of pictures of waffles will be considered a personal invitation.
Easy baked macaroni and cheese recipe: Boil macaroni in water.... follow the rest of the instructions on box. TADA!
The bible says you can`t buy your way into heaven but there isn`t a church in the country that won`t encourage you to try.
Wow.. I didn`t know spandex could hold that much.
Every time I walk into a singles bar, I can hear Mom`s wise words: "Don`t pick that up!! You don`t know where it`s been!!"
I don`t know about you . But everytime I go on Twitter , I get this weird feeling , I am being followed.
I was a huge tomboy. Like, I had barbies, but only because my ninja turtles needed bitches.
What`s worse to have stuck in your head; a knife or All About That Bass?
He said the spark between us was gone..so I tasered him..... Ill ask him again when he wakes up
Good news I passed my drug test today. But now my drug dealer has some explaining to do.
If you eat doughnuts fast enough your Fitbit thinks you`re walking.
Your cat doesn`t love you. If it were bigger it would eat you.
Don’t believe everything you think.
Airplanes: offering you the comforts of gas station food/drinks at popular night club prices
Multitasking (verb) - Screwing up several things at once.