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I can`t understand why women are okay that JCPenney has an older women`s clothing line named, "Sag Harbor."
You’re going to make some cats very happy one day.
Figure it out people. It’s a 4-way stop sign not a woman.
What are nuts on a wall? Walnuts. What are nuts on the chest? Chestnuts. What are nuts against a chin? Blow job.
It`s so hard being a single mom when you have no kids and are a male teenager.
Wish some of my co workers weren`t allowed in the break room... Because that`s who I usually need a break from.
Inventor of camping: "Hey, let`s go pretend to be homeless."
When a girl says "no," a guy hears it as "try again tomorrow."
According to WebMD I have déjà vu... but not only that, I also have déjà vu according to WebMD.
I`m just 1 nap, 8 beers, 2 orgasms and my own personal robot away from this being the best day ever.
Adult movies now available in 3D?!? Some thing I just don`t want to see flying at my face.
The restraining order doesn`t mean we can`t hangout. It just says I can`t get within 50 ft of you. So you wanna play catch or frisbee or something?
Apparently “finders keepers” does not include expensive cars in parking lots.
Is it just me, or would those movies had been far scarier if they were titled "Monday the 13th"
There is nothing like sitting naked in a beanbag chair eating Cheetos. I hope they let me back in Walmart.