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Sticks and stones may break my bones but words... words might hurt me deeply, causing great emotional, mental, and psychological damage leading toward a lowered self-esteem and irregular bowel movements.
Summer vacation: Where you drink triple, see double and act single.
Unless its inappropriately, don`t f*cking touch me.
I wonder how many people`s phones out there have my name saved in contacts as "DO NOT ANSWER"
My friend says to me, "What rhymes with orange?" I said, "No it doesn`t."
Life is so unfair, why do we always want what we don`t have? For example, right now I want tacos
"I have no idea. Why don`t you just Google it?" —My answer to just about every question I`m ever asked
Today my role will be played by an overworked, under caffeinated, sarcastic, unstable, asshole. Consider this my disclaimer for the day.
I`ve been on a diet for 2 weeks and all I`ve lost is 14 days.
I hate long distance relationships. That`s why I moved the fridge into my bedroom.
just want to point out that Cinderella is living proof that shoes can change your life!
I`ll go to extreme lengths to get the last bit of toothpaste from the tube but I`ll also watch 2 hrs of Nick Jr if I can`t reach the remote.
Stay positive ladies, maybe he just didn’t hear you the first 100 times.
Im still waiting for Anheuser-Bush to name a beer "responsibly" so i can drink it!
Instead of LOL, try SALTS ( smiled a little, then stopped)