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Just saw someone holding a sign that said "Honk 2 impeach Obama" You`d think the process to impeach a president would be more complicated
Well kids, texting wasn`t always easy. In my day, you had to work for it. You had to want it. You need an S? You had to click that 7 button FOUR TIMES.
I hate when I accidentally say "I love you" instead of "I`m biologically driven to want to reproduce with you and I`m temporarily delusional."
if the shoe fits wear it , if it too tight take it off
How many different animals did we have to jump on the backs of before we discovered horses were cool with it?
I do 5 sit-ups every morning. No, it doesn`t sound like much, but there`s only so many times you can press the snooze button.
LIKE if you talk to yourself and laugh because you’re just that hilarious.
Not to interrupt your story, but do you have a completely different and possibly shorter story?
A recent report shows that people who smoke weed get into 85% fewer car crashes than drunk people. Obviously. It`s a lot easier to see what`s coming when you`re only driving at eleven miles an hour.
It’s been β€œone of those days” for like 3 years now.
If it`s any consolation, your Doppelganger is probably having a really awesome day.
Jail is just the government`s way of sending you to your room.
I dont care how you live your life, so just let me live mine. Yeah whatever.
Pretty impressed at petrol station today, as i was filling up, i heard woman with truck at next pump say is that Vin Diesel, I smiled, then realised she meant Van Diesel :-/
I don`t like people who hate certain group of people. But I get along very well with people who hate everybody equally.